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Geek version of Chuck Norris Facts (Happy Halloween!)

Publié le 30 octobre 2009 par Marc-Antoine

chuck_norris Our little Halloween special. What if Chuck Norris’s hands would have fallen on a computer instead of machine guns & karate lessons? What we would be saying on Mr. Norris today? Here are our predictions :

  • Chuck Norris has already moved to Web 3.0.
  • No one is allowed to follow Chuck Norris on Twitter.  Chuck Norris follows you.
  • Search queries like ‘can I beat Chuck Norris?‘ are just plain dangerous.
  • Chuck Norris’s Facebook status is permanently set to ‘is dominating‘.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need to optimize his Pay Per Click accounts, Chuck invented the word optimize.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t have any competitors on search engines.
  • Chuck Norris knows Google’s algorithm.
  • The Google Dance is regulated by Chuck Norris’s boots.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need Web Analytics, he already knows everything about his visitors.
  • Chuck Norris invented Web Analytics in the 70s.
  • Chuck Norris has a better ranking than Bruce Lee.
  • Chuck Norris is allowed to use more than 140 characters on Twitter.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need Google to sort through billions of web pages.
  • Chuck Norris’s home bike powers the Googleplex.
  • You can’t buy the keyword ‘Chuck Norris’. Chuck Norris buys you.
  • Chuck Norris can have a CTR above 100%.
  • Chuck Norris refrained Microsoft from using ‘Bang’ as their new Search engine name.
  • The minute you learn that Chuck Norris is following you on Twitter, consider moving to Mexico.
  • Chuck Norris has a Pagerank of 11.
  • Chuck Norris can control his roundhouse kicks through an API.

Obviously we owe the idea to the famous Chuck Norris Facts website, one of the most important & beloved Internet memes ever to hit our computer screens. Happy Halloween!

Jean Thibaudeau & Marc-Antoine Lacroix

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4 réponses à “Geek version of Chuck Norris Facts (Happy Halloween!)”

  1. Ryan commente:

    This post kicks ass !

  2. oggy commente:

    There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

  3. Louis-Dominic Parizeau commente:

    You guys need to read this if you haven’t already!

    http://unbounce.com/funny/9-reasons-why-chuck-norris-shouldnt-work-in-marketing/

    My favorite:

    The conversion rate on ChuckNorris.com is whatever Chuck says it is. And as a general rule, it beats the industry average by infinity

  4. Marie commente:

    “The minute you learn that Chuck Norris is following you on Twitter, consider moving to Mexico.” > My favorite! Great post!

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